There she was, once again she walked across the room gracefully, obviously not noticing poor Hamlet. "How can I get Ophelia to notice me?" Hamlet whispered to himself. He had loved Ophelia admiring her from afar, never able to truly express the extent of his love for her. He turned away, and to think he should have been enjoying himself on such a royal occasion. The annual festival celebrating his father winning boundless amounts of land for Denmark was a rare occasion, but every year felt the same. Ophelia would always drift toward other more attractive men, and Hamlet would be left, cut off from the love of his life.
The way she moved was like a slow song upon a piano, soft and painful at moments, and uplifting and beautiful in others. "I will not let her slip away," Hamlet thought to himself. He knew that is he wanted to gain Ophelia's love he had to act before it was too late. The song by the band suddenly changed into a chorus of upbeat notes that fluttered across the room. He knew that this would be his only chance to dance with the woman of his dreams.
Hamlet raced down the balcony onto the ball room floor and approached Ophelia. She glanced into his eyes and suddenly his heart began to melt. "My lady, I would be honored to have this dance with you," he said with a smile stretched across his heart. Ophelia blushed, and with a flood of confidence Hamlet carried her to the dancefloor. His moves were fast on the grounds of the castle, as his arms and legs glided effortlessly to the flow of the music. They dance all night and Ophelia soon was covered by his passion and amazing calmness. She brushed her hand across his cheek and whispered, "Forgive me for not seeing you tonight." Hamlet looked deep within himself, and mustered up his strength. With a kiss on the cheek goodnight he whispered, "Ophelia, thank you... for not looking on me with your eyes, but for looking on me with your heart."
4 comments:
Hey, way to go. That was really good. Just one question what song did they start playing? I know you were singing something when you were writing this. Anyway, I thought how it was pretty clever how you didn't take the story out of its original location, but still added a modern twist to it. (I don't think that music was very upbeat then or that they referred to the ball room floor as the "dance floor") It was similar to Shakespeare putting in stuff from his time into Caesar.
Nicely done Tim! I especially liked your description of the way she moved in the beginning of the second paragraph. It was hauntingly beautiful - just like Shakespeare's love story. I also agree with Misha when he commented that he liked your modern spin to the story without taking it too far.
My only concern would be that Hamlet was always a Prince so I think Ophelia might have paid him some attention ...
I actually really liked how you made Hamlet the one hoping to get Ophelia's attention, because in my story I made it just the opposite. It put a nice twist on things. Your comparison of Ophelia to piano music has also very sweet and creative, and fit in nicely with the setting. But I do agree with Ms. Watkins that Ophelia would likely have given Hamlet a bit more attention, unless she was too shy.
Tim, I really liked this! It was really nice to see Hamlet as someone other than a man consumed with thoughts only of revenge. You wrote him as someone with real feelings and insecurities and a person we all could relate to. I do have to admit, though, I did have an image of the entire party beginning to fist pump during the upbeat song! Well, done, though! And the last line was exceedingly adorable. :)
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